Conservative or Liberal

I am one of those mythical individuals that can be both conservative and liberal.  I think the best term to describe me would be Libertarian but I don't subscribe to the whole thing.  I'm wishy-washy, and I love it.  It makes for excellent trolling because you can take the opposite side of whoever is mad.  Unfortunately when it comes to politics, everyone is mad so the best thing is to not get too involved with the topic and post a massive rant and get trolled.  But this is going to be about why it's best to troll from either side of the spectrum.

LIBERAL

Being liberal is fun because you are always mad about something.  Liberals have constant rage face and are insulted by basically everything that someone with money is doing.  You're also really angry about guns and why people feel the need to own them.  Every Republican is a rich asshole and they are always lying.  The main thing to remember when you're being liberal is that you have to feel lots of empathy toward the "less fortunate" so basically anybody who doesn't have tons of money is a freaking saint and we should give them more stuff.
Good things about trolling liberally: Obama is troll face.  Conservatives get really mad about Obama so you can use Obama to troll them.  Talk about how awesome Obama is and how the stimulus worked because it kinda did.  Conservatives will get mad and ramble on about socialism and stuff and make some comments about Bill Ayers and that's when you start ranting about Super PACs and the Koch (say COCK) brothers.  Republicans like to buy elections and most elected Republicans at the national level are the equivalent of Mr. Bean.  They are all first class doofuses.  You can use this to your advantage because Boehner (BONER) and the human turtle are the worst Republican leaders EVER, and that includes Gingrich.  Never hesitate to bring up that the house has the lowest approval rating ever and that Bush was and idiot.  Bush was also the reason for anything negative they might bring up.  Reagan raised taxes 11 times more than Obama, never forget.  Also, Nixon and eggs.
Bad things about trolling liberally: You have to insult religion from time to time while subscribing to things that are religious in nature like global warming and evolution.  You have to constantly shoot yourself in the foot because Obama is a FUCKING CONSERVATIVE and applies all sorts of conservative policies and escalated wars and other stupid shit but Rmoney is a dick so that's good.  You have to be a counter racist and claim that Republicans are mad cause Obama is black.  You also have to be a dick about guns.  But worst of all, you always have to be mad about something which gets annoying.  I mean, just spend a few minutes on DailyKos and listen to them rant about Bain and how rich Rmoney is.  It'll make you never want to be a liberal again.  Also liberals hate cars, which sucks.

CONSERVATIVE

Being conservative is fun because you always give zero fucks.  You are also always trolling.  You have Fox News to troll liberals with because they are always looking for the things that make liberals upset.  You also have guns to help you troll.  Liberals are always socialist and they hate America.  They wish we were more like Europe which makes you more patriotic, or something.  The best way to be a conservative troll is basically say people are really free to do whatever they want to do so that there's nothing for you to get mad about.  When people suggest otherwise just tell the person that they are trying to take away your rights and make them look like a traitor.
Good things about trolling conservatively: Most of the country agrees with you on the important issues.  Mostly all people don't really care about guns as long as one is responsible with them.  People generally think that lower taxes are always good and that the government really doesn't need to be sticking its head in everyone's business.  The attitude of "leave it alone" is a generally popular one.  So long as you don't become one of those liberal "conservatives" that want to radically alter everything then you'll generally have a good time.  Now if you start actually believing the stuff that comes out of Fox News, that's when you're going to start just being mad about everything like a liberal and that's when you lose.  Liberal leadership is also generally spineless and the best Democratic presidents are the ones who go right as soon as they win.  Clinton did, Obama did, the next Democratic president will too.
Bad things about trolling conservatively: You have some of the greatest idiots in the world that claim to be conservative and it really hurts your credibility.  You've got Palin, Bachmann, Paul Ryan, Newt, Glenn Beck, O'Rly, the entire US House, Rush, and more.  And truthfully the fact that these idiots claim to be conservative is quite hilarious.  'Conservative' generally means that the person wants less change and intervention where you've got Republican idiots wanting the government to intervene on basically every social issue on the planet.  When you're a Republican wanting abortion banned, you're the same as a Democrat wanting industry regulated to nothing.  You become the enemy.  The best thing to do is just keep your hands out of it.  Conservatives also are generally greedy.  Mad?

So in conclusion, liberals are rage face and conservatives are troll face.  However, false rage and making others believe you got trolled when really you did not get trolled is trolling.  What was I talking about again?