The Vector Prime of Trolling

The Vector Prime of Trolling

Posted by Westys in behalf of Jessie Louthan II

Out of all of the trolls that currently reside in RedchocoboTrend land, I consider myself the Vector Prime of trolling. Why’s that? Let’s find out.

My trolling actually began long ago, in a land far, far away...in fact, it no longer exists. I’m talking about MSN Chat. Yeah, you know, that one. Thanks to Chris Hansen and “To Catch A Predator”, they took away my hours of entertainment, talking to friends, hooking up with random hotties, and working on my elite typing skills (now at 65 wpm). U jelly?

Actually, what really killed it is that they decided to “keep it open” and start charging $20/year to chat. What once was a free service, now Microsoft wanted us to spend our hard-earned money on this...this is one of the reasons why I hate them so much. That, and they make crappy software for even crappier PCs. Don’t hate, it’s mostly Apple here, even though I have an eight year old PC for kicks and giggles...with a picture of the 2012 Nissan Sentra Base as the wallpaper.

Getting mad yet? I hope so.

So anyways, I wandered into the great unknown that is the interwebz, and stumbled upon MySpace...thanks to my hawt 32 year Grandmother (she was 32 at the time) friend. I know, you’re mind is blown. Too bad I lost touch with her, she was way cool. I was getting that slowly started up, but really missed the instant interaction that MSN Chat provided to me. Yahoo Chat was still teh phailz, so I was stuck with messenging random hotties and whomever I could find from the old MSN Chat days.

Then, one fateful day in November 2004, my life changed forever. For reasons that I still don’t know to this day, I somehow stumbled onto the Autoweek Combustion Chamber (AWCC). I joined right away, still new to this thing that they called a forum. It was about car guys talking about cars, and other stuff as well. I wound up talking to these crazy guys everyday, and some I still do to this day.

But the best part was...the epic trolling! Anything, and I mean anything, went at AWCC. The main fight was between the Domestic car side (Chandlers), and the Import car side (Monica). Epic flame threads could not do this justice. I threw in my fair share of trolling, with this statement as my all-time favourite: “If we had done our jobs right, there would be no Japanese flag”.

I almost got permanently banned for that one...there were other comments, but that one still sticks out in my mind. Eventually, AutoWeek tried to kill off AWCC for good by “switching over to another server” for the forum, but we all knew that short of killing off AutoWeek altogether, they would stop at nothing to get rid of us.

They finally did on a sunny spring day in 2007...by then, I had fully transitioned over to Motor Trend forums. It was pretty dead there, and despite how the old and new administrators felt/feel, we were like the Mormons to Las Vegas...we brought it back to life! The trolling continued, but they actually had admins that cared, and were willing to enforce the rules. Personally, my own trolling had reduced in severity and consistently over time, to the point where I was nominated to be a moderator...a title that I still hold to this day.

As a moderator, I cleaned up MT by banning the worst of the worst trolls out there (like those that were making personal attacks against other posters)...some people said that I was too harsh, and others claimed that I had turned my back on my own kind. You can find them over at CarFanatics Forum...his name is Cmicasa, who is ironically a moderator himself.

About this time, Facebook was really starting to ramp up, and eventually, I began to build up my friends list, mostly with friends and family, but also with friends of friends, and people that I had met through status updates threads. You know, social networking. Most people have forgotten what that is, and think that FB is a place where they can feed into their own vanity. But that’s another article for another time.

What is great about FB is that you’re exposed to many different walks of life, and those with different beliefs...even ones that you may not agree with. This eventually took my trolling to a whole new level.

Here are my favourite people to troll:

1) Conservative Republicans: I can have a field day with these guys...all I have to do is either post something stupid that a Republican said (I limit it to once per day, but I’ll never run out of material), or something about President Obama. That really sends them over the edge. Obama stuff works in particular, because it exposes the racist in some people...they still can’t get over the fact that we have a Black President. I say, deal with it. Also, he was a better President than Dubya...problem?

2) Bible Thumpers/Jesus Freaks: having lived in the Bible Belt for all of my life, I have a particular disdain towards Southern Baptists and Non-Denominationals. Between “I’m going to Hell” and “Every other religion is wrong, plus religion is wrong” and “it’s not about religion, it’s about Jesus”, it makes me wonder if these people prefer to be brainwashed and choose not to think for themselves.

Also, me being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or “the Mormons”, only adds to their hatred of me. I find it comical that they claim to know more about my religion that I do. Sorry, I don’t take advice from paid clergymen with an agenda to pad his membership numbers to secure loans from banks, so that he can live in a McMansion and drive a bunch of luxury cars...while his own members go broke and hungry.

3) People that drive Toyotas: I, like most everyone here, hates Toyota with a passion. Granted, they used to make great cars, but don’t anymore. In fact, I hate Toyota so much, what started as me sharing articles about the infamous Toyota floormat/accelerator pedal recalls, grew into a full-fledged website called Toyota Deathwatch Updates. Check it out, I’m sure it’ll burst your bubble if you own one. Don’t be mad at me if you turned your back on your country and gave money to the evil empire. That’s on your own conscious.

So, where am I at now in my trolling? Still trolling on FB, ramping up on MT, and of course, always doing some “informative trolling” on TDU (just like on FB). Stay tuned, and be prepared to hop on board the school bus, because who knows...I might just take you to school.