I Have Chortles

You've come here, presumably because you are a masochist and insane.  You like to read shit that irritates you and sometimes comment on how much you disagree with the verbose diarrhea on these pages. 
I want you to know, we are kindred spirits, you and I, bothering ourselves with things of no consequence like cars and video games.  We do as the Bible said and eat, drink, and be merry.  We find chortles in flatulence and sarcasm, and we enjoy causing frustration on teh internets.  We are guys and gals of simple taste, and we don't give two small rodent stools whether you agree or not.
Why can more people not be like us?  Why must everyone concern themselves with chasing after the wind, while we laugh over broken wind?
It's money, isn't it?  Serious folk in suits and ties watch as the world burns in direct relation to the expansion of their bank accounts. 
Oh dear.  This is getting too serious.  I sharted.
Anyway, reader of these pages of infinite wisdom and gaseous shart-ish qualities, don't get too serious.  When stuff gets to serious, shart.  You'll be outta there in no time.