I Am Too Nice

I am too nice.  I know what you are thinking, "This guy is king of trolling and he wants us to believe that he is too nice?"  Well, yes.  And, no.  And eggs.  In person, I am very friendly and respectful because that is what one should do in person.  Except if you keep me up till 2 in the morning, then all bets are off.  But really, I feel like I am too nice.

This weekend I decided to have ComCrap come install Internet and TV at my house because it was ridiculously cheap and I was tired of not having TV.  My "install window" was from 12 to 2.  Well, needless to say that 2 passed by without so much as a phone call.  By 2:30, the tech had finally called and said he was having to do a bunch of extra work and that he would be to the house in an hour.  So now I'm looking at 3:30 and yet I have still not complained or even raised my voice.  Well, 4 rolls around and still no call.  So I call up the 800 number and pound buttons until I get an actual person.  I tell the person on the other line the whole situation in a kind tone and wait for his response.

"Well that's pretty late," the guy says in his best impression of Goofy.  And they proceed to offer me a $20 credit.  Since they were already charging me over $40 for the install, that was a consolation prize at best and he still couldn't tell me when someone would actually be at my house.  My daughter really wanted to go swimming and here I am stuck waiting for some early 20s, pot smoking (yes I assume all early 20s kids smoke pot, mad?), cable install junkie to finally show up at my house but still, I have not raised my voice.

So finally around 5, this kid who looks like Seth Green shows up and proceeds to start working on installing my shit.  I hear some sob story about stuff that "wasn't on the work order".  PROBLEM?  I secretly hope that my house will eat him.  Then it turns out the cable connection for the house is in the addic where my almost awesomer than I am air conditioner has been depositing all of the crap hot air that I don't want all day long.  PROBLEM?  Then fucking Andre the Giant shows up which is compounded by the fact that Seth Green lookalike is only like 3 foot 6.  So now I have these kids that look like a damn comedy routine running around trying to get the cable working in my house.  Finally at 7 these guys are done and I have more TV than I was expecting and my Internet was pulling down at 35 Mbps so I am a happy camper.  Then I hustled the kid for a bunch of component cables because dammit, not everybody has a stupid HDTV.  So he went back to smoking pot and pants dialed my phone so I could hear him swearing about how much it sucks to be an independent contractor.  Yeah, it does suck.  Capitalism owns you.

But then I went swimming and enjoyed the entire large pool at the Kroc Center all by myself because it is "too cold" for most people.  Good, go play in the piss pool, pansies.

What was this post about again?  Oh yeah, eggs.