Being the owner of a 2004 Mazda 6, I always await the next generation release for the car hoping that they'll improve on the the formula that I believe they got so right for the first generation. Sadly for the last generation, they fixed the one thing that was wrong with the car and added a whole bunch of other wrong things to the car. Don't get me wrong, I still liked the fat 6. It was a bruiser as the testbed for the Duratec 37 that would later go into the Mustang. But they took away the manual and mostly all of the car's agility. So I wasn't a buyer.
However, when the Kodo Mazda 6 started showing it's face, I was again intrigued. The car definitely appeared to be regaining it's agility, but again Mazda can't fix the problems of the last generation without creating a bunch of new problems. Notably, Mazda doesn't have a premium engine to put in the 6 due to their split with Ford. I'm not unlike Mazda in that way, every time I fix something that is going wrong in my life I seem to create a bunch of new problems. So sometimes, you just have to do what makes you able to move forward in your life even if it creates problems. So that's what Mazda has done with the new 6.
Obviously the sheet metal is absolutely gorgeous. While Nagare was universally stupid looking on every car that wore it, Kodo is the polar opposite. Every vehicle that wears it has class leading looks. Another issue that Mazda has addressed is the universal criticism of the fuel economy of Mazdas. Skyactiv has changed the rules, the engine seems to get class leading MPG in every vehicle it goes into. For example, the Skyactiv 2.5 in the Mazda 6 returns 26/38 (one less with a manual) with 185 horsepower. No hybrid, no turbo. For comparison, the Fusion returns 23/36 with it's 1.6 liter turbo engine that makes 12 less horsepower. Problem Fusion? The Accord that makes the same power but has a motorboat transmission only returns a single MPG higher in the city. This is great for Mazda's mainstream appeal but for those of us that buy Mazdas, we don't care about MPGs. So basically, Mazda has a great base engine here and has built a car that should easily compete with everything else in class and these cars are being sold as "i" models which would indicate that Mazda plans a higher end model. But at this point, that higher end model is probably going to be a diesel with even less horsepower.
While being underpowered is not a sin for a Mazda, in this case it's just too underpowered. The 6 needs a premium engine. In the days of the Ford partnership they could leverage Ford equipment to fill the holes in their lineup, but these days that option isn't available. So at this point all Mazda has is a four cylinder that may not even drag the car to 60 in under 8 seconds and a diesel that will probably be even slower. It isn't a good position to be in, especially with Honda and Toyota's V6 engines being stronger than ever.
But Mazda is going in the right direction. We have a great looking car with great handling and superior fuel economy and you can even still get a manual in the most base car. Maybe a Skyactiv V6 is in the works, but probably not. Some of us even dream that they might pick up an Alfa V6 from their co-op with Fiat but that's probably a longer shot than licencing another V6 from Ford. The lack of a decent engine puts the Mazda 6 on the list of disappointing "almost there" releases in the past couple of years, and that's a shame.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Hyundai is Building a Veyron Killer!
Concept image of Hyundai's new Veyron Killer.
A new Hyundai concept car climbs ever high up the ladder of
expensive vehicles. However, it is not a
Lexus, Infiniti, Mercedes or even a BMW that Hyundai plans to compete
with. This time Hyundai plans to build a
comparable vehicle to none other then the Bugatti Veyron. Hyundai execs announced that the company has
begun development on a two seat sports car that will have no less then 1000
horsepower, have All Wheel Drive, have a top speed over 250 miles per hour and
cost less then the $1 million plus cost of the Veyron. Hyundai had no sketches or actual equipment
to show us but power is planned to come from a 16-cylinder engine developed by
Hyundai and the body is expected to possibly resemble the Genesis Coupe but be
built on a 'completely unique and all new platform'.
An artist’s rendering has been captured of Hyundai's concept
Veyron killer (see below). Sporting
looks relatively similar to the Veyron, it seems that Hyundai is taking their
usual 'Music Industry' approach to design and expanding on the winning formula
developed by Bugatti. Further details on
the engine from Hyundai execs show the concept using an unspecified displacement
16-cylinder engine that has 6 turbochargers and at this time is churning out
1600 horsepower. Hyundai expects the
concept to be very close to the expected production version. Hyundai has also released a name for this
concept: skrrkkkll. The name is meant to
'make the consumer think' about what they are looking for in a madly stupefying
vehicle. When asked for comment,
Volkswagen head Ferdinand Piech asked us to follow him into the restroom where
he promptly pooped into the toilet nearly cracking the porcelain. We continue to wait with baited breath for
more details on this thrilling concept from Hyundai.
I want it to be known that I am FIRST to break this massive story. My source is legitimate! My brother's friend's cousin's sister's dog's brother's mother's father's aunt's uncle's neighbor's cat's hamster's egg's brother's chicken's mother's grandfather's aunt's friend said that this is completely legit.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
BMW and Toyota Getting Together Is Logical
U mad? Probably. You've probably heard that Toyota and BMW are working together to maybe make a hybrid Supra and now it appears that they are going to make a Z4 based on the FR-S. Enthusiasts are raging pretty hard. Not quite infinity suns, but it's getting pretty close. People generally think this is a bad thing and are mad at BMW for even considering it. But the truth is, BMW wants this and it is a good thing for them. They've wanted to be Toyota as bad as Toyota has wanted to be them and now they both have the chance to be each other.
At first glance, it would seem that BMW and Toyota getting together to make products is a complete disaster and a total sellout for BMW. The "Ultimate Driving Machine" getting in bed with the leading producer of automotive appliances in the world. But when you look at it from a business standpoint, it makes perfect sense. The housing crash and subsequent destruction of the middle class took a lot of income from the target market for BMWs. Rich people don't buy BMWs, upper-middle class people buy BMWs and when the upper-middle class can't afford the product anymore, something must be done. So over the past few years BMW has slowly and carefully been moving down market. It's a good move considering that their down market competitors like Cadillac and Infiniti are starting to make products that actually step on and maybe even over the mighty 3-series. So BMW has been focusing their vehicles more towards comfort and gizmos more than the driving experience because the driving experience might win comparos at Car & Driver and MotorTrend but it doesn't sell anymore. They've also been offering incredibly cheap lease deals, especially on the 3-series. But they still have the old German car stigma that says that it will spend more time in the shop than it does on the road. No matter what they do, they will have this stigma forever just like Hyundai will always be an economy car company that copies other cars and sells them at a discount.
But what if BMW was working with a company that was touted as the most reliable on the planet? That might change things in the eye of the consumer. BMW doesn't need any of Toyota's tech (except maybe the hybrid system), their engines or their chassis. They need Toyota's image. They need the image of reliability. It's such a genius idea I wouldn't be surprised if Volkswagen AG was raging so hard they ripped all the papers on their desks and threw them around like confetti for not thinking of it first. Now BMW can claim that you can have the badge and the reliability. PROFIT!
But what's in this for Toyota? Not a whole lot to be honest. Toyota's current chassis and engines do everything they need to do and when it comes to N/A engines, Toyota is probably doing better than BMW at this point. I know, shocking right? Toyota doesn't need BMW diesels because hybrids sell better in most every market besides Europe. BMW chassis are good for driving but bad for the appliance like feel that Toyota buyers have come to expect and Toyota has even shown that deep down they do still know how to build a sports car, kind of. But nobody truly believes that Toyota knows what they're doing and that's why the whole F-Sport BS that Toyota is pulling with Lexus is just a joke.
Which brings me to what Toyota needs from BMW. They don't need tech, chassis or engines. They need BMW's image. They need to be considered as better driver's cars. What better way to make your F-Sport badges suddenly ooze credibility then a little German engineering from the company that supposedly builds the Ultimate Driving Machines. Now Lexus can claim relability and sportyness! PROFIT!
So when it comes right down to it, these companies were made for each other. They complete each other. This is a match made in heaven. And for those who think this is BMW selling out? Bitch please, BMW sold out decades ago. Problem?
At first glance, it would seem that BMW and Toyota getting together to make products is a complete disaster and a total sellout for BMW. The "Ultimate Driving Machine" getting in bed with the leading producer of automotive appliances in the world. But when you look at it from a business standpoint, it makes perfect sense. The housing crash and subsequent destruction of the middle class took a lot of income from the target market for BMWs. Rich people don't buy BMWs, upper-middle class people buy BMWs and when the upper-middle class can't afford the product anymore, something must be done. So over the past few years BMW has slowly and carefully been moving down market. It's a good move considering that their down market competitors like Cadillac and Infiniti are starting to make products that actually step on and maybe even over the mighty 3-series. So BMW has been focusing their vehicles more towards comfort and gizmos more than the driving experience because the driving experience might win comparos at Car & Driver and MotorTrend but it doesn't sell anymore. They've also been offering incredibly cheap lease deals, especially on the 3-series. But they still have the old German car stigma that says that it will spend more time in the shop than it does on the road. No matter what they do, they will have this stigma forever just like Hyundai will always be an economy car company that copies other cars and sells them at a discount.
But what if BMW was working with a company that was touted as the most reliable on the planet? That might change things in the eye of the consumer. BMW doesn't need any of Toyota's tech (except maybe the hybrid system), their engines or their chassis. They need Toyota's image. They need the image of reliability. It's such a genius idea I wouldn't be surprised if Volkswagen AG was raging so hard they ripped all the papers on their desks and threw them around like confetti for not thinking of it first. Now BMW can claim that you can have the badge and the reliability. PROFIT!
But what's in this for Toyota? Not a whole lot to be honest. Toyota's current chassis and engines do everything they need to do and when it comes to N/A engines, Toyota is probably doing better than BMW at this point. I know, shocking right? Toyota doesn't need BMW diesels because hybrids sell better in most every market besides Europe. BMW chassis are good for driving but bad for the appliance like feel that Toyota buyers have come to expect and Toyota has even shown that deep down they do still know how to build a sports car, kind of. But nobody truly believes that Toyota knows what they're doing and that's why the whole F-Sport BS that Toyota is pulling with Lexus is just a joke.
Which brings me to what Toyota needs from BMW. They don't need tech, chassis or engines. They need BMW's image. They need to be considered as better driver's cars. What better way to make your F-Sport badges suddenly ooze credibility then a little German engineering from the company that supposedly builds the Ultimate Driving Machines. Now Lexus can claim relability and sportyness! PROFIT!
So when it comes right down to it, these companies were made for each other. They complete each other. This is a match made in heaven. And for those who think this is BMW selling out? Bitch please, BMW sold out decades ago. Problem?
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
The Kübler-Ross Model: Mazda
ABSTRACT: Party one (1) (heretofore referred to as "Mazda," or "The Subject,") and party two (2) (heretofore referred to simply as "Ford,") concluded a romantic relationship last year. The purpose of this study is to examine Mazda's reaction, specifically in reference to the Kübler-Ross Model of the Five Stages Of Grief. We will examine Mazda's denial ("I'll be just fine without Ford"), anger ("Goddammit you sonofabitch, I'll do what I want!"), bargaining ("please, I'll do anything! Just don't take away my Duratec!"), depression (heavy alcohol consumption accompanied by repeated Taylor Swift music), and acceptance ("Skyactiv's the limit!").
STUDY:
STAGE ONE: DENIAL: In the initial stages following the incident, The Subject displayed "Trophy Wife Syndrome", frequenting cosmetic surgeons specializing in botox. This resulted in an unnatural grin from "fender to fender." Subject then named its own face "Nagare." This strange behavior lead the research team to believe drug use was involved, but no evidence of such has been found.
STAGE TWO: ANGER: Subject began heavily drinking race fuel and acting erratically, including the rejection of its own love child (named "Tribute"), and racing every weekend. Subject then displayed homoerotic behavior, racing with Playboy as a sponsor. Tribute has since displayed rejection syndrome, its throttle getting stuck wide open. Tribute has been recalled and, at this point, no one has been hurt.
STAGE THREE: BARGAINING: Apparently feeling remorse over the rejection of tribute, The Subject begged for Ford to allow the continuing use of genetic material from Ford's horse (named "Mustang"). Displaying even more bizarre behavior, Subject named the bastard child with horse parts "CX-9." Despite this, CX-9 has overcome its odd upbringing and become quite mature and strong. Mazda continues heavy alcohol consumption.
STAGE FOUR: DEPRESSION: Alcohol consumption reaches critical levels. Subject shows strong affinity toward country music, particularly that of Taylor Swift. Subject's botox smile inverts whenever Ms. Swift's "Never Getting Back Together" starts playing. This causes inordinate amounts of drool, as subject's face (Nagare) is rigid due to unhealthy amounts of botox.
STAGE FIVE: ACCEPTANCE: The Subject begins mumbling nonsense, such as "Kodo", and apparently intentionally misspelling words, such as "Skyactiv." Subject dons what appears to be a lab coat and locks itself in a lab for days at a time, emerging only to shout "Zoom-Zoom, bitches!" at passers by. Despite this behavior, subject shows signs of recovery. Weeks later, new products emerge from said lab, showing no signs of Ford heritage.
CONCLUSION: Subject showed all signs of the Kübler-Ross Model, recovering in a normal fashion. This study shows a strength of The Subject, and we hypothesize that The Subject will have a bright future. We will continue monitoring their progress.
STUDY:
STAGE ONE: DENIAL: In the initial stages following the incident, The Subject displayed "Trophy Wife Syndrome", frequenting cosmetic surgeons specializing in botox. This resulted in an unnatural grin from "fender to fender." Subject then named its own face "Nagare." This strange behavior lead the research team to believe drug use was involved, but no evidence of such has been found.
STAGE TWO: ANGER: Subject began heavily drinking race fuel and acting erratically, including the rejection of its own love child (named "Tribute"), and racing every weekend. Subject then displayed homoerotic behavior, racing with Playboy as a sponsor. Tribute has since displayed rejection syndrome, its throttle getting stuck wide open. Tribute has been recalled and, at this point, no one has been hurt.
STAGE THREE: BARGAINING: Apparently feeling remorse over the rejection of tribute, The Subject begged for Ford to allow the continuing use of genetic material from Ford's horse (named "Mustang"). Displaying even more bizarre behavior, Subject named the bastard child with horse parts "CX-9." Despite this, CX-9 has overcome its odd upbringing and become quite mature and strong. Mazda continues heavy alcohol consumption.
STAGE FOUR: DEPRESSION: Alcohol consumption reaches critical levels. Subject shows strong affinity toward country music, particularly that of Taylor Swift. Subject's botox smile inverts whenever Ms. Swift's "Never Getting Back Together" starts playing. This causes inordinate amounts of drool, as subject's face (Nagare) is rigid due to unhealthy amounts of botox.
STAGE FIVE: ACCEPTANCE: The Subject begins mumbling nonsense, such as "Kodo", and apparently intentionally misspelling words, such as "Skyactiv." Subject dons what appears to be a lab coat and locks itself in a lab for days at a time, emerging only to shout "Zoom-Zoom, bitches!" at passers by. Despite this behavior, subject shows signs of recovery. Weeks later, new products emerge from said lab, showing no signs of Ford heritage.
CONCLUSION: Subject showed all signs of the Kübler-Ross Model, recovering in a normal fashion. This study shows a strength of The Subject, and we hypothesize that The Subject will have a bright future. We will continue monitoring their progress.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Impressions From the Portland Auto Show
Yesterday I went to the Portland Auto Show. It was a big year this year, there were a lot of big time releases that I was getting my first chance to see in the flesh and I was able to reinforce some of my opinions while blowing some of my opinions completely out of the water.
The first thing that greeted me as I walked through the door was the elegant, sexy and very high class 2014 Mazda 6. Where I entered was unintentional, but there she was; the car I came to the show for. It was so good in person. It looks and feels like the first gen on the inside with the material quality of the second gen. In other words: it was good. I had the chance to talk with the owner of a 2003 Mazda 6 V6 who was seeing it for the first time with me. He asked me what my complaint about it was. I told him "No V6". "Amen brother" was his response. We both agreed that it wasn't really worth our purchase without a V6, especially since we were both over 100,000 miles on our cars with little to no problems. Verdict: Great interior, great exterior, Y U no V6? We also took a very close look at the CX-5, now available with 2.5 liter Skyactiv and after viewing the rest of the options available at the show concluded that it is simply the best deal you can get on a CUV.
The next area of note was Ford, the most disappointing stop of the show. First, Ford couldn't be bothered to bring a Fusion to the show that wasn't a hybrid so I didn't even bother. At least four people I talked to said that the Fusion was great from every angle except the front. Fish face was unliked. At one point, I convinced my brother to troll with me and we got ahold of the MyFord Touch tester car which was a Taurus with the Ecoboost four. After multiple attempts to actually get the car to boot, we finally had it up and running. The thing I noticed first is that most attempts to hit something with my finger on the screen was difficult at best and most buttons required at least two attempts to hit. But it did not break. We successfully paired my brother's phone to the Taurus and managed to use Bluetooth to blast "I'm Sexy and I Know It" out the speakers of the Taurus. Compared to CUE, it had similar functionality but was definitely slower and the touch boxes were difficult to find. I almost felt like I was pushing around the screen buttons rather than right on them. The Recaros in the Focus ST were unforgiving and I ended up sitting on the bolsters rather than in them. The clutch had a great feel as did the shifter however. My brother removed the engine cover from the Focus engine to reveal that, in fact, Ecoboost is MZR. The engine appears identical to the engine in the Mazdaspeed 3. Escape was EXTREMELY cheap looking and the 1.6 was returning lower EPA estimates than the 2.5 CX-5 for $6,000 more. Yes, that's a 1.6T Escape for $38,000. NOPE! Verdict: Ford was a joke while (even though I didn't talk about them) Lincoln had a great showing.
Cadillac. I'm sure people that know me are expecting something completely different than what is about to be written. Cadillac blew me away. CUE made Lexus, Infiniti, Hyundai and even BMW in car systems seem cheap and last generation. It was fantastic. Great haptic feedback. Easy to push buttons. The digital dash in the XTS was completely mindblowing. I so want one. The whole XTS was just fantastic. It was huge everywhere it was supposed to be huge and it was littered with easy to use technology. The only gripe I have is that the steering wheel buttons had to be pressed before I could understand what they were for. ATS. I've been trolling this car hard but Cadillac really tried to make this a vehicle that wasn't for Grandpa. The price tag is still for Grandpa; it isn't cheap. The inside of the car is a great place to be however unless you sit in the rear seats. It definitely did not feel bloated like many other Cadillacs did. CTS Coupe is still ugly and compared to ATS and XTS, CTS is started to feel very dated. Verdict: Cadillac is improved and was better than the refreshed Lexus at the show. Still mainstream and not attracting the attention of the Douche market. I used the phrase "ATS still isn't as fast as the Douche Rocket (335)" out loud.
Some shorts. Hyundai is so damn dated. Equus and Genesis are a freaking joke. Equus was actually carrying a Hyundai badge now but they just look like old Mercedes. I broke their infotainment system. Lexus cars were all cramped and every single car had an "F". Even the CT200h. The styling is more appealing in person. Drove the Subaru Crosstrek. It felt like a Toyota. Drove the FR-S. It was much better than expected but still felt like an economy car. All the kids wanted to drive it but none of them wanted to buy it. Audi, what does "T" even mean?! Overall I was impressed with the things I expected to hate and hated the things I expected to impress me. Interesting show.
The first thing that greeted me as I walked through the door was the elegant, sexy and very high class 2014 Mazda 6. Where I entered was unintentional, but there she was; the car I came to the show for. It was so good in person. It looks and feels like the first gen on the inside with the material quality of the second gen. In other words: it was good. I had the chance to talk with the owner of a 2003 Mazda 6 V6 who was seeing it for the first time with me. He asked me what my complaint about it was. I told him "No V6". "Amen brother" was his response. We both agreed that it wasn't really worth our purchase without a V6, especially since we were both over 100,000 miles on our cars with little to no problems. Verdict: Great interior, great exterior, Y U no V6? We also took a very close look at the CX-5, now available with 2.5 liter Skyactiv and after viewing the rest of the options available at the show concluded that it is simply the best deal you can get on a CUV.
The next area of note was Ford, the most disappointing stop of the show. First, Ford couldn't be bothered to bring a Fusion to the show that wasn't a hybrid so I didn't even bother. At least four people I talked to said that the Fusion was great from every angle except the front. Fish face was unliked. At one point, I convinced my brother to troll with me and we got ahold of the MyFord Touch tester car which was a Taurus with the Ecoboost four. After multiple attempts to actually get the car to boot, we finally had it up and running. The thing I noticed first is that most attempts to hit something with my finger on the screen was difficult at best and most buttons required at least two attempts to hit. But it did not break. We successfully paired my brother's phone to the Taurus and managed to use Bluetooth to blast "I'm Sexy and I Know It" out the speakers of the Taurus. Compared to CUE, it had similar functionality but was definitely slower and the touch boxes were difficult to find. I almost felt like I was pushing around the screen buttons rather than right on them. The Recaros in the Focus ST were unforgiving and I ended up sitting on the bolsters rather than in them. The clutch had a great feel as did the shifter however. My brother removed the engine cover from the Focus engine to reveal that, in fact, Ecoboost is MZR. The engine appears identical to the engine in the Mazdaspeed 3. Escape was EXTREMELY cheap looking and the 1.6 was returning lower EPA estimates than the 2.5 CX-5 for $6,000 more. Yes, that's a 1.6T Escape for $38,000. NOPE! Verdict: Ford was a joke while (even though I didn't talk about them) Lincoln had a great showing.
Cadillac. I'm sure people that know me are expecting something completely different than what is about to be written. Cadillac blew me away. CUE made Lexus, Infiniti, Hyundai and even BMW in car systems seem cheap and last generation. It was fantastic. Great haptic feedback. Easy to push buttons. The digital dash in the XTS was completely mindblowing. I so want one. The whole XTS was just fantastic. It was huge everywhere it was supposed to be huge and it was littered with easy to use technology. The only gripe I have is that the steering wheel buttons had to be pressed before I could understand what they were for. ATS. I've been trolling this car hard but Cadillac really tried to make this a vehicle that wasn't for Grandpa. The price tag is still for Grandpa; it isn't cheap. The inside of the car is a great place to be however unless you sit in the rear seats. It definitely did not feel bloated like many other Cadillacs did. CTS Coupe is still ugly and compared to ATS and XTS, CTS is started to feel very dated. Verdict: Cadillac is improved and was better than the refreshed Lexus at the show. Still mainstream and not attracting the attention of the Douche market. I used the phrase "ATS still isn't as fast as the Douche Rocket (335)" out loud.
Some shorts. Hyundai is so damn dated. Equus and Genesis are a freaking joke. Equus was actually carrying a Hyundai badge now but they just look like old Mercedes. I broke their infotainment system. Lexus cars were all cramped and every single car had an "F". Even the CT200h. The styling is more appealing in person. Drove the Subaru Crosstrek. It felt like a Toyota. Drove the FR-S. It was much better than expected but still felt like an economy car. All the kids wanted to drive it but none of them wanted to buy it. Audi, what does "T" even mean?! Overall I was impressed with the things I expected to hate and hated the things I expected to impress me. Interesting show.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Direct Injection Turbo Sucks
I realize that my current opinion is not the popular one but I think that the current batch of direct injection turbo engines are an atrocity and I cannot wait for naturally aspirated engines to return. Sure, they might look good on paper, but they all went "oppa Hyundai style". They return sub-standard performance, sub-standard MPGs and wheezy, narrow powerbands. They promised to be the next generation of engine but they were ruined just like hybrids because the automakers tried to make the turbo engines feel like they weren't turbo engines.
Of course, my primary target for this criticism is Ford's Ecoboost line of four cylinder engines. The Ecoboost V6 is an exception because they started with a Duratec engine and ended up with a motor that could actually make power past 6,000 RPM. The Ecoboost fours are a different question. It used to be that only trucks would make maximum power at 5,000 RPM but now we have a 1.6 liter that tops out at that RPM. That is just wrong. A tiny motor like that should be able to rev to insane levels. But when you're trying to make diesel like torque with zero turbo lag, you get a diesel like narrow powerband. "But it makes it's peak torque at 2,000 RPM!" Whatever! You realize that your powerband is the same size as VTAK Honda boy who doesn't VTEC until 4,000 RPM and revs to 7,000 right? Is that a "narrow powerband"? Is that bad? The really sad thing is that Honda boy probably gets better gas mileage too. It's no surprise to me that Ford is having issues with people meeting their MPG estimates. The key to making good MPGs in a turbo engine is to stay out of boost and Ford has designed an engine that boosts instantly. "But it has no lag!" The turbo lag is what used to help people stay out of boost. It's not a bad thing, it's part of the charm of turbo engines. Ford has designed an engine that is no better than the old 2.3 they put in the turbo Thunderbirds.
But the truth is that the 1.6 doesn't rustle my jimmies. I was never going to buy such an engine anyways. Sub 200 horsepower is so 90s. It's the 2.0 turbo engine that upsets me because it was supposed to be the engine that replaces the V6 and is allegedly better. It's so much better that the Fusion can't even break out of the 15s with it. In other words, it's pathetic. I can outrun a Fusion with my first generation Duratec that only has intake VVT. Saying it's equally fast to the fat, AWD Fusion Sport with horrid Ford automatic from the last generation is a cop out. It should have been a LOT faster than the old Duratec, especially considering that the Fusion is a smaller, more expensive car. Basically we've given up displacement and added more moving parts for no additional performance. "But MPGs!" Bitch please, nobody wants MPGs in the top of the line engine. It's made even worse by the fact that GM already has a better 2.0T because they just added direct injection to the old Cobalt SS motor. Ford just got left. Good thing that the new Malibu is a dynamic disaster or people would have given zero fucks about the Fusion. It's bad enough that Honda just made the Accord look like a Lexus and a Hyundai, hopped up the motors and walked past the Fusion. Yes, Honda boys, oppa Hyundai style.
So is this the future then? Do we all want diesels so much that automakers are going out of their way to make gasoline engines have diesel powerbands? What's next, are we going to start compression firing gasoline? Ugh. Wake me when the second round of the 80s is over.
Of course, my primary target for this criticism is Ford's Ecoboost line of four cylinder engines. The Ecoboost V6 is an exception because they started with a Duratec engine and ended up with a motor that could actually make power past 6,000 RPM. The Ecoboost fours are a different question. It used to be that only trucks would make maximum power at 5,000 RPM but now we have a 1.6 liter that tops out at that RPM. That is just wrong. A tiny motor like that should be able to rev to insane levels. But when you're trying to make diesel like torque with zero turbo lag, you get a diesel like narrow powerband. "But it makes it's peak torque at 2,000 RPM!" Whatever! You realize that your powerband is the same size as VTAK Honda boy who doesn't VTEC until 4,000 RPM and revs to 7,000 right? Is that a "narrow powerband"? Is that bad? The really sad thing is that Honda boy probably gets better gas mileage too. It's no surprise to me that Ford is having issues with people meeting their MPG estimates. The key to making good MPGs in a turbo engine is to stay out of boost and Ford has designed an engine that boosts instantly. "But it has no lag!" The turbo lag is what used to help people stay out of boost. It's not a bad thing, it's part of the charm of turbo engines. Ford has designed an engine that is no better than the old 2.3 they put in the turbo Thunderbirds.
But the truth is that the 1.6 doesn't rustle my jimmies. I was never going to buy such an engine anyways. Sub 200 horsepower is so 90s. It's the 2.0 turbo engine that upsets me because it was supposed to be the engine that replaces the V6 and is allegedly better. It's so much better that the Fusion can't even break out of the 15s with it. In other words, it's pathetic. I can outrun a Fusion with my first generation Duratec that only has intake VVT. Saying it's equally fast to the fat, AWD Fusion Sport with horrid Ford automatic from the last generation is a cop out. It should have been a LOT faster than the old Duratec, especially considering that the Fusion is a smaller, more expensive car. Basically we've given up displacement and added more moving parts for no additional performance. "But MPGs!" Bitch please, nobody wants MPGs in the top of the line engine. It's made even worse by the fact that GM already has a better 2.0T because they just added direct injection to the old Cobalt SS motor. Ford just got left. Good thing that the new Malibu is a dynamic disaster or people would have given zero fucks about the Fusion. It's bad enough that Honda just made the Accord look like a Lexus and a Hyundai, hopped up the motors and walked past the Fusion. Yes, Honda boys, oppa Hyundai style.
So is this the future then? Do we all want diesels so much that automakers are going out of their way to make gasoline engines have diesel powerbands? What's next, are we going to start compression firing gasoline? Ugh. Wake me when the second round of the 80s is over.
Eggs
I said to myself this weekend that I was going to start writing here again, but to do that I needed to face what caused me to not want to write here anymore. Part of it was that I didn't have the urge to write anymore. I guess it was the wrong mindset or I was just in a bad part of my life or whatever but I've decided to change that. I want people to read my junk again, which also meant that I needed to face what made people decide to stop reading the blog.
Part of that was that I think my writing just wasn't that interesting to people. I kept writing about video games and I don't think people found that topic particularly popular. But additionally, I think too much of the focus of the blog was on the character of RedChocobo. Sure, RedChocobo is what brought so many people to the blog initially because he was popular. But when he decided to blow up and be a little drama queen, it hurt traffic to the blog. But RedChocobo is in a good place right now. He can troll as much as he wants however he wants with no expectations. So that leaves myself in a good place to write freely about cars.
So here I am, Matthew Berg, to write about whatever. You can expect a redesign during a week and possibly even a new name after I've had some time to talk it over with my partner in crime, Topheezy. What you can not expect this time will be guess blogs and other such. I want to get back to what this blog began as and what it was meant to be. Kinda...
So upcoming later today: Why I hate direct injection turbo!
Part of that was that I think my writing just wasn't that interesting to people. I kept writing about video games and I don't think people found that topic particularly popular. But additionally, I think too much of the focus of the blog was on the character of RedChocobo. Sure, RedChocobo is what brought so many people to the blog initially because he was popular. But when he decided to blow up and be a little drama queen, it hurt traffic to the blog. But RedChocobo is in a good place right now. He can troll as much as he wants however he wants with no expectations. So that leaves myself in a good place to write freely about cars.
So here I am, Matthew Berg, to write about whatever. You can expect a redesign during a week and possibly even a new name after I've had some time to talk it over with my partner in crime, Topheezy. What you can not expect this time will be guess blogs and other such. I want to get back to what this blog began as and what it was meant to be. Kinda...
So upcoming later today: Why I hate direct injection turbo!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Have We Become Desensitized?
You always hear of people complaining that video games cause normal, non-violent folks into killers. Like average Joe gamer is sitting there eating his cheerios, playing Doom, then he just snaps and shoots up a hot dog stand.
While Joe's frank tirade is a scary thought, there is a much darker problem: limited edition games.
Two decades ago, you could go to Target and say "I would like to purchase Super Mario World," and the employee would sell you just that for $40. While that seemed expensive at the time, we were still paying for piece of hardware from an industry that was still in its adolescence. We were paying for a silicone circuit board covered in hard plastic, neither of which are cheap to manufacture.
Today, you go into Target and ask for the latest Halo or Call of duty (providing you've made it through the gauntlet of challenges explained later in this post), and you already know that you're going to be in this game for $60. And for what? A DVD in a flimsy plastic box. DVDs are stupid cheap to manufacture, and every DVD box is the same. So because of the economies of scale, you're paying 60 bones for something that cost probably less than $1 to manufacture.
Obviously, it's what's actually on the disc that you're really paying for. So what does $60 get you today? Well as our very own red bird explained in his latest post, you're paying for an incomplete game. You're paying for about 60% of it. Most likely, the store in which you bought the game had the $60 version in with the sea of games in the regular games section. But before you set foot in that section, you see a display slightly larger than the Eiffel Tower, shamelessly displaying only the $100 Limited Ultimate Mega Super Lucky Collectors Edition, and the $400 Mega Super Limited Unlimited Ultimate Sacred Collectors Gift Set. You try to go to the regular games section, but just as you walk past the display, you get pelted with eggs, and a dwarf throws the Collectors Edition game at you, while peppering you with paintballs. At this point, most gamers give up and fork over the Benjamin and go home with the Limited Edition.
Continue on, and you are faced with a wizard of unspeakable power who proclaims with a thunderous "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" and throws the Gift Set at your head. Dodging this with an action roll, you remember that the wizard needs food, badly. As you come out of the roll, throw a sleeve of rice cakes at this wizard. He will disappear. If you forget one step here, you end up spending every last Rupee you have on the Gift Set and go home with a large box of things that will later find their homes at various thrift stores.
If you manage to pass this second test, you are faced with the pitfall of the Special Super Mega - you get the idea - Controller. This controller operates exactly like your six-year-old white controller, but it has skulls on it! Right when the wizard disappeared, so did the floor between you and the games section. Here, you must know the proper spelling of "Jehovah" in Greek. Speak the letters aloud and a light will come on overhead and make you sneeze. As you sneeze, the mist of saliva will land on an invisible bridge over the pit between you and the games section. careful crossing this bridge, as arrows will shoot up at you from below. At this point, most people end up going home with the $100 game, the $400 Gift Set, the $60 Sculltroller, and a puncture wound or two.
If you have successfully made it past this gauntlet, you are one of the few and proud who can go home without paying ridiculous amounts of money. But you still know in the back of your mind that you could have gotten that treasure chest with the keychain, bobblehead, die cast spaceship, and certificate of authenticity that proves that you spent way too much cash. Oh, and don't forget the special avatar item that shows the rest of those on the interwebz that you're a bad ass high roller and sprung for the Limited Edition. Dumb ass.
While Joe's frank tirade is a scary thought, there is a much darker problem: limited edition games.
Two decades ago, you could go to Target and say "I would like to purchase Super Mario World," and the employee would sell you just that for $40. While that seemed expensive at the time, we were still paying for piece of hardware from an industry that was still in its adolescence. We were paying for a silicone circuit board covered in hard plastic, neither of which are cheap to manufacture.
Today, you go into Target and ask for the latest Halo or Call of duty (providing you've made it through the gauntlet of challenges explained later in this post), and you already know that you're going to be in this game for $60. And for what? A DVD in a flimsy plastic box. DVDs are stupid cheap to manufacture, and every DVD box is the same. So because of the economies of scale, you're paying 60 bones for something that cost probably less than $1 to manufacture.
Obviously, it's what's actually on the disc that you're really paying for. So what does $60 get you today? Well as our very own red bird explained in his latest post, you're paying for an incomplete game. You're paying for about 60% of it. Most likely, the store in which you bought the game had the $60 version in with the sea of games in the regular games section. But before you set foot in that section, you see a display slightly larger than the Eiffel Tower, shamelessly displaying only the $100 Limited Ultimate Mega Super Lucky Collectors Edition, and the $400 Mega Super Limited Unlimited Ultimate Sacred Collectors Gift Set. You try to go to the regular games section, but just as you walk past the display, you get pelted with eggs, and a dwarf throws the Collectors Edition game at you, while peppering you with paintballs. At this point, most gamers give up and fork over the Benjamin and go home with the Limited Edition.
Continue on, and you are faced with a wizard of unspeakable power who proclaims with a thunderous "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" and throws the Gift Set at your head. Dodging this with an action roll, you remember that the wizard needs food, badly. As you come out of the roll, throw a sleeve of rice cakes at this wizard. He will disappear. If you forget one step here, you end up spending every last Rupee you have on the Gift Set and go home with a large box of things that will later find their homes at various thrift stores.
If you manage to pass this second test, you are faced with the pitfall of the Special Super Mega - you get the idea - Controller. This controller operates exactly like your six-year-old white controller, but it has skulls on it! Right when the wizard disappeared, so did the floor between you and the games section. Here, you must know the proper spelling of "Jehovah" in Greek. Speak the letters aloud and a light will come on overhead and make you sneeze. As you sneeze, the mist of saliva will land on an invisible bridge over the pit between you and the games section. careful crossing this bridge, as arrows will shoot up at you from below. At this point, most people end up going home with the $100 game, the $400 Gift Set, the $60 Sculltroller, and a puncture wound or two.
If you have successfully made it past this gauntlet, you are one of the few and proud who can go home without paying ridiculous amounts of money. But you still know in the back of your mind that you could have gotten that treasure chest with the keychain, bobblehead, die cast spaceship, and certificate of authenticity that proves that you spent way too much cash. Oh, and don't forget the special avatar item that shows the rest of those on the interwebz that you're a bad ass high roller and sprung for the Limited Edition. Dumb ass.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Revival
I recently read a post of mine that I wrote a couple months ago. It made me laugh. Oh how things can change in a few months.
It made me sad though, too. Not the post itself, but the fact that I haven't blogged here in a really long time.
Today is my Saturday to work. And by "work," I mean stand at the desk and make sure it doesn't float to the ceiling. It has a tendency to do that. It's a problem.
To keep myself occupied, I often look for parts and accessories for my car, as any self respecting car guy would do. Into the search bar, I typed, "2004 Honda Accord Coupe V6 6-Speed." To my surprise, my own review of my car was the 8th result on the list. A few days ago, I searched for "2004 Honda Accord Coupe V6 performance," and my review was on the first page. I don't remember what place it was in.
This made me realize that we really have something good with this blog. We have got some great writers, and some genuinely good material. Some of the shit we post is laugh-out-loud hilarious too.
So this is a follow-up to "Post;" a random assortment of the many tangential vectors of thought that continually bounce around in my head like a blaster bolt in a magnetically sealed Death Star garbage masher.
How the hell did a Dianoga get into the garbage masher on a large, spherical space station anyway?
In the last "Post," I was dealing with problems with my then girlfriend. Thank God that is over. Whew. I seem to write better when I'm angry, though.
That said, what a difference a few months makes! Though situations in my life haven't changed much, I don't ever remember being this happy and content. And right about the time I started feeling better, an amazing woman came out of fkn nowhere and knocked me head over heels.
But that's enough sap. Shouldn't that figure of speech be "heels over head"? I mean I'm sitting down right now, and my head is definitely over my heels.
Ok who am I kidding? A large portion of the reason I made this post was to brag about the fact that I have a hot new girlfriend. And the beauty of it is that I was not expecting it to happen like this. I was finally starting to find peace and contentment in life on my own, and she came along. Then my life hit VTEC. Now it's OVER 9000!!!!
It made me sad though, too. Not the post itself, but the fact that I haven't blogged here in a really long time.
Today is my Saturday to work. And by "work," I mean stand at the desk and make sure it doesn't float to the ceiling. It has a tendency to do that. It's a problem.
To keep myself occupied, I often look for parts and accessories for my car, as any self respecting car guy would do. Into the search bar, I typed, "2004 Honda Accord Coupe V6 6-Speed." To my surprise, my own review of my car was the 8th result on the list. A few days ago, I searched for "2004 Honda Accord Coupe V6 performance," and my review was on the first page. I don't remember what place it was in.
This made me realize that we really have something good with this blog. We have got some great writers, and some genuinely good material. Some of the shit we post is laugh-out-loud hilarious too.
So this is a follow-up to "Post;" a random assortment of the many tangential vectors of thought that continually bounce around in my head like a blaster bolt in a magnetically sealed Death Star garbage masher.
How the hell did a Dianoga get into the garbage masher on a large, spherical space station anyway?
In the last "Post," I was dealing with problems with my then girlfriend. Thank God that is over. Whew. I seem to write better when I'm angry, though.
That said, what a difference a few months makes! Though situations in my life haven't changed much, I don't ever remember being this happy and content. And right about the time I started feeling better, an amazing woman came out of fkn nowhere and knocked me head over heels.
But that's enough sap. Shouldn't that figure of speech be "heels over head"? I mean I'm sitting down right now, and my head is definitely over my heels.
Ok who am I kidding? A large portion of the reason I made this post was to brag about the fact that I have a hot new girlfriend. And the beauty of it is that I was not expecting it to happen like this. I was finally starting to find peace and contentment in life on my own, and she came along. Then my life hit VTEC. Now it's OVER 9000!!!!
Monday, November 19, 2012
Consoles And PCs
While this post is mostly inspired by what I am hearing about the launch of the WiiU, it really extends to all consoles these days so anyways.
The game.
I was born in 1982, I will be 30 in December. I have owned many, many Nintendo systems. I will likely own a WiiU at some point because I just think it is all sorts of cool but I am reading online about how the system has to receive a patch as soon as you get it home. Wut? What happened that made it so our consoles leave the factory imperfect? My Super Nintendo never needed a patch. But I figured out the problem pretty darn fast. It's that our consoles want to be computers.
This doesn't work for me. For me, consoles are consoles and PCs are PCs. They don't compete, they don't interact. They shouldn't do either of those things either. When a console tries to be a PC, it does it poorly and you wish it was a computer (see The Sims). When a PC tries to be a console, it does it poorly and you wish it was a console (see EVERY FUCKING RACING GAME). But then there's this thing called the Internet that console makers really wanted to take advantage of, so they started building their consoles like computers.
Here's the problem, the Internet is the realm of the PC. It always has been, it always will be. Consoles just suck when they get on the Internet. It makes game publishers sloppy and makes them force shitty ways for consoles to make use of the stupid Internet. Not only that, when you're a user like me that doesn't take their consoles on the Internet, you end up alienating those users. Online functionality for me seems like this magical realm until I actually get on it and realize that consoles just don't belong on the Internet and those that have their consoles on the Internet are quite depraved. Jokes about 12 year olds telling people on the Internet to fuck their mothers exist for a reason. We have people levelling up for killing people with machine guns so they can buy hats. We have games that get released with few changes from their predicessor just to add more multiplayer functionality. Fucking Minecraft.
I know this isn't anything new, but when I heard that the WiiU is basically hinging everything on online use I threw up. I am one of those people that when I buy something, I don't really expect it to change unless I continue to pay for it. When I buy a game, I expect the game will stay that way unless I buy a different game. That isn't the way it is anymore. But even further, I've gone so far to not purchase games because I knew that I would have to get "DLC" in order to make use of it. NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO! It still pisses me off that I don't have all of the stuff I paid for on my Forza 4 disk because I haven't connected to the Internet. How fucking fair is that?! You included a second disk with the damn game, why do I have to download even more shit!?
So call me old, but I think that building games with full intent of patching them or only to add DLC later is a huge cop out. The greatest games in history didn't need patches, why do today's? Because they can. Enough. Those of us that don't have broadband Internet coming out of our ass would really like to have our consoles back.
Thank you.
The game.
I was born in 1982, I will be 30 in December. I have owned many, many Nintendo systems. I will likely own a WiiU at some point because I just think it is all sorts of cool but I am reading online about how the system has to receive a patch as soon as you get it home. Wut? What happened that made it so our consoles leave the factory imperfect? My Super Nintendo never needed a patch. But I figured out the problem pretty darn fast. It's that our consoles want to be computers.
This doesn't work for me. For me, consoles are consoles and PCs are PCs. They don't compete, they don't interact. They shouldn't do either of those things either. When a console tries to be a PC, it does it poorly and you wish it was a computer (see The Sims). When a PC tries to be a console, it does it poorly and you wish it was a console (see EVERY FUCKING RACING GAME). But then there's this thing called the Internet that console makers really wanted to take advantage of, so they started building their consoles like computers.
Here's the problem, the Internet is the realm of the PC. It always has been, it always will be. Consoles just suck when they get on the Internet. It makes game publishers sloppy and makes them force shitty ways for consoles to make use of the stupid Internet. Not only that, when you're a user like me that doesn't take their consoles on the Internet, you end up alienating those users. Online functionality for me seems like this magical realm until I actually get on it and realize that consoles just don't belong on the Internet and those that have their consoles on the Internet are quite depraved. Jokes about 12 year olds telling people on the Internet to fuck their mothers exist for a reason. We have people levelling up for killing people with machine guns so they can buy hats. We have games that get released with few changes from their predicessor just to add more multiplayer functionality. Fucking Minecraft.
I know this isn't anything new, but when I heard that the WiiU is basically hinging everything on online use I threw up. I am one of those people that when I buy something, I don't really expect it to change unless I continue to pay for it. When I buy a game, I expect the game will stay that way unless I buy a different game. That isn't the way it is anymore. But even further, I've gone so far to not purchase games because I knew that I would have to get "DLC" in order to make use of it. NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO! It still pisses me off that I don't have all of the stuff I paid for on my Forza 4 disk because I haven't connected to the Internet. How fucking fair is that?! You included a second disk with the damn game, why do I have to download even more shit!?
So call me old, but I think that building games with full intent of patching them or only to add DLC later is a huge cop out. The greatest games in history didn't need patches, why do today's? Because they can. Enough. Those of us that don't have broadband Internet coming out of our ass would really like to have our consoles back.
Thank you.